We numb emotions addictively. However, not only sadness, anger, loneliness, but also, joy, gratitude, love.
We numb ourselves, our authentic selves, when our children and their authentic selves. Non-stop, crucially, harshly hurting ourselves and loved ones around us.
We keep doing it, and do not know how to get out of that circle. It hurts, it hurts a lot, but we masochistically keep denying what we feel.
Because.
Our parents did it.
Our grandparents did it.
Our society does and encourages it.
Because.
'A lot of our generation particularly are not allowing themselves to be vulnerable because the trend seems to be so heavily focused on 'independence' and the 'I don't need no man/women' attitude. Everyone's trying to be so self-sufficient and not reliant or 'needy' of anyone else because they think it's the more desirable way of living. Therefore we're conditioned to believe that asking for help or becoming emotionally vulnerable to others is weak and should be avoided as it seemingly isn't attractive.'
So we.
Build walls around ourselves, stop letting people closer to us.
Getting lonely, more hurt and ashamed of all those feelings, but keep repeating of 'how strong we are' and 'how we don't need anyone' in our lifes, because we believe only our achievements, grand recognitions matter.
And we cry at nights.
And we finding it hard to admit that we cannot do everything without asking for help.
Because we are ashamed.
Of.
Our true selves.
Our raw emotions.
That comes to us.
Everyday.
So.
We try to shake them off.
Instead of.
Believing.
'I ask for what I need'.
That's what I wish for all of you.
Wholeheartedly.
******
Tas pats, tik stipriau.
Panašu, tik ryškiau.
Beveik, tik labiau .
Būna tokių dienų.
Kai jautiesi esąs be šarvų
ir be ginklų.
Beveik be odos.
Beveik iš tikrųjų.
(Crooked Nose)
