we are nothing and everything

And all of the sudden you realise/remember you're gifted. You're left with a feeling of gratitude for the way how it was reminded to you. 

                                     

sister don't go that way no more, you've been down that road before and I, I'm love with you

    Josh Garrels - Decisions
    Foje - Tušti delnai

 Laikas, kada reikia daug drąsos ir ryžto. Žiauriai daug drąsos ir ryžto. Laikas nusivylimų ir pasididžiavimų.
 Pusryčiai su draugais ir blynais IR vėl primena apie paprastą laimę. O ir vėl užmiršti pasivaikščiojimai be    tikslo suteikia pamirštos energijos. O tada nei šaltas kambarys, nei baimės ir net tuščia piniginė nepakeičia  vidinio jausmo. O galvoje tik skamba:  life is simple. The only hard thing is to believe in its simplicity.

***

    

The time when you need loads of courage and purpose. Loads of courage and purpose. The time full of dissapointments and centrepieces. Breakfasts and dinners with friends AGAIN reminds of simple happiness and... Alaska. And again forgotten walks without purpose gives the forgotten energy. And then neither cold room nor fears or even empty wallet doesn't change how do you feel inside. And only words in my head are: life is simple. The only hard thing is to believe in its simplicity.

Sunny day walk                                                                                                                                     

    A beautiful place I work at

    My little autumnal obsession - Gingerbread latte

    The Dancing Goat

    Our Sunday breakfast - pumpkin spiced pancakes

    And Monday treat - pure Lithuanian curd doughnuts

                      Warm house breakfast - breakfast with Rhoda and Charis

    A really rich hot chocolate with chamomile blooms 

days when you find it again

Cosmo Sheldrake - The Fly

Days of tiredness, words, smiles, writings, faith and cakes.

    Leeds Grand Theatre

    The amazing Flynn

    Cosmo Sheldrake in The Sussex Wit

    Beautiful Hannah's Cake and Tea party

..

Ane Brun - Changing of the seasons

She says she feels bare, with nothing to give.

I say that's a good place to start.

Taigi.

and in the end all steps what matters are the ones you've taken by yourself

 Can't go back 

Sharp senses, being busy with the moment. Promises, the ones which should become a habbit. Things and people that have never stood you up.
Inspirations coming from heartaches, patience from struggles, laughter and hope bursting through tears.
Johnny Flynn, the one who knows
Challenges and finally, loads of coffee and beautiful people.

and everything seems so funny you want to fight

You really got a hold on me

Paul Simon - The coast

I couldn't resist of not posting this. You see the thing is, life is just a game. I mean, seriously. Nothing in this world is too serious, all you have to do is to open your heart (and eyes), to believe, be kind and patient, don't ignore your inner voice, and play this game. It's all about improvising and not taking everything too seriously (including yourself). Then is when all the difference comes. 

Why I'm writing this? My tooth broke. Nearly into half. The closest appointment I could get was early November, and I didn't want to wait that long. So I didn't give up. Everything came into places, together with solution. I'm having my appointment tommorow morning. 

My point is, we choose. We choose to suffer more or less, to name things as good and bad, or name them as just 'things'. It's only a matter of time to realise that, to actually experience what difference that makes. Sometimes you just need your tooth to break down to make a new choice.

And I bought myself some heaths. 

and then the stars come and go

Yo la tengo - autumn sweater


I'm back. Here I've already found a full moon, I was staring at the sky full of bright stars, wondering if it's ever been here like that.
I worked as The Dancing Goat, was carrying heavy boxes and thinking, I probably am a strong woman, and finally I met emotions on the streets. That simple.
All in two days.
Oh, and we got silver!

ir niekas nebuvo surastas nei pasiklydęs

Kamanių Šilelis - Gilyn
Regina Spector - Laughing with

Sapnavau, kad pasiklydau.

Stoviu viduje lauko

O pasaulis sukasi aplink.

Šuo pavirto juodu šunimi

Aš tapau persekiotoja

ir norėjau pakeisti situaciją.

Keletą dienų prieš grįžtant į antruosius namus šiaurėje, susirgau. Vaje. Vieni sakė, dėl to, kad dar matyt nereikia grįžti, kiti, kad reikia sveikti greituoju būdu ir judėt. O man, man nebeliko jėgų, nei tų fizinių, nei kitokių, ir supanašėjau su dabartiniu vaizdu už lango. Va taip. 

**

 I had a dream that I got lost.

I was standing in the middle of the field

and the world was spinning around.

Dog became black

I became a chaser

and wanted to change the situation.

Just few days before going back to my second home in the North, I've got ill. Shame. Some people told there was a reason for that, maybe I don't need to leave yet, another that I must get well fast and move on. And to me, I ran out of strength, the physical, the other one, and I started to look like a scenery behind the window. True story.

ir dar ta proga valgiau ir antrą gabaliuką šio pyrago. vistiek sergu/ so I had the reason to eat second piece of this pumpkin cottage cheese cake. recipe here.

p.s. also, I found some inspiration today. This girl and her illustration are so beautiful.

ooh, I won't know whether to laugh or cry

Johnny Flynn - The Ghost of O'donahue


Kažkaip šiandien nusprendžiau rašyti paprasčiau. Neturiu aš jokių 'etikečių', ar vieno rašymo stiliaus, tad ir mano įrašų gali pasitaikyti visokių. Nesakysiu, kad man nesvarbu ar blog'ą skaitys kiti ar ne, 'žiauriai' smagu, bet žinau, kad šis blog'as toks labiau man (tačiau laukiu visų skaitytojų!). Kad išgyvenčiau.
Tad šiandien paprastai. Todėl, kad pavargau, labai pavargau. Ir kažkaip lyju lyju ašarom..
Akimirkos iš praėjusių kelių savaičių:

***

Today somehow I've decided to write very simply. I don't have any 'labels' or one writing style, so 

my posts may vary. I'm not going to tell I don't care if anybody reads my blog or not, would be so cool if they will, however, I know this blog is more personal (don't misinterpret, I can't wait for new readers to come!). To survive.

So today very simply. Just because I'm so tired, tired of everything what requires any thinking. And I burst in tears too much nowadays..

Few moments from the last couple of weeks:

    Taikiau dailės terapiją.../ i've tried art therapy..

    Dovilė...

    man raudonų lūpų diena/ i'm having red lip day

    mūsų didžioji naujiena../our big news

    ir pagaliau naminė moliūgų latte. o džiaugsme./ and finally homemade pumpkin spiced latte. oh joy..

time to bend elbows

J.S. Bach - Prelude and Fughetta in D minor

Believe in your abilities. Stare fear in the face. 

Push yourself everyday.

And remember: You are still learning,

you don't know it all. you aren't perfect,

and sometimes you need to ask questions.

But you're unique, and vulnerability has

a beautiful strength.

Especially when you believe

you're already significant

no matter what you do.

**

Kuo daugiau gyvenimo.

Do life.

I wanted to give love and I failed. I want to give love

Jonsi - Go Do

Lydėk mane, kad išmokčiau kaip teisingai mylėti.

Lydėk mane, kad nepasimesčiau.

Kad ir ką darytum, daryk su meile. 

Aš pažadu, bus gražu.

Leisk man tave mylėti.

Tik tiek teprašau.

'Go sing, too loud
Make your voice break- Sing it out
Go scream, do shout
Make an earthquake...'

***

Be thou my Vision.

Guide me in this love giving journey.

Whatever you do, do with love. 

I promise, it'll be amazing.

Let me love you.

This is all I ask.

when it hurts too much not to do

The National - Pink Rabbits

                                 

                             Kai net nežinai kaip pradėti, ir pradedi nuo nieko. Ir pradedi nuo nieko.

Su kavos puodeliu ir įkvėpimu.

                            When you don't know how to start, you start from nothing, And you start from nothing.

With a cup of coffee and deep breath in.